hexmix: Ethan Winters from the 'Ethan Must Die!' DLC menu screen with a red texture bg (efan - pew pew)
but i'm charging my phone and power bank in my car lol. we got hit hard by Helene like most of the southeast and this is day three without power. we've had no flooding where we are, thank god, but trees and power lines are down everywhere. the state hasn't even sent anyone out our way yet to clear the roads, it's been up to locals with chainsaws to tackle the trees. they can't do anything about the lines tho, so those are still out everywhere.

i've only heard a little news from everywhere else that got hit but it does sound like we got off incredibly light. i heard Asheville is like completely cut off from everything now? like all the bridges in/out were destroyed by flooding so it's only accessible via air now? like fucking christ. once again seeing the USA's incredible fucking infrastructure at work.

anyway, just waiting it out. hope the vet has power bc Frankie and Riot have back-to-back appointments this week. power company can't give an estimate for when the power will be back beyond "hopefully everyone will have power by Friday" which...cool. very cool.

thinking about Asheville and reminding myself it could be worse, that i shouldn't complain. it does suck tho.

anyway this post is just to complain really lmao. i can't do much else at this point.

anyway rare personal post! i hope that everyone else hit by the storm is doing alright! we really did get incredibly lucky, and as much as i'm bitching about it i'm still really grateful. like at least they got the cell tower back up, we didn't even have cell service for the first two days. gotta think positive, right? lol

anyway if i haven't replied to you this is also why!! i'm still here, i'll get back to you! hopefully sooner than later;;
hexmix: Zoe Baker from the RE7 DLC The End of Zoe, crystalized with her eyes closed. she's upside down in front of a dark background. (zoe - crystalized)
had a vet appt for Frankie early this morning, which meant only getting 2hrs of sleep due to how late i typically go to bed. anyway did eventually crash a few hrs back & took a lil nap, but displeased with the reminder that i can't get away with functioning on that little sleep anymore. genuinely the one thing that's forcing me to admit my age, which is another reason to be all >:( about it lmao.

anyway, literally one of the most toxic things to see as a 'positive' but i was genuinely proud of how well i could function on such little sleep. did that shit for ten years and it was a nasty fuckign situation that no one should have to put up with & should seriously question if they find themselves in (heads up: no job is worth spending half a year averaging 3hrs of sleep a night) but like at the same time i still do find myself using that as the measurement for how much effort/energy i'm putting into something, as if it's at all sustainable (it isn't; i nearly killed myself doing it when i was in my 20s, let alone trying to now).

it's one thing to intellectually know 'depriving yourself of sleep is bad and is in no way indicative of how much you care/how hard you can work/how much more serious you are than everyone else' and another to internalize it tho, especially having spent 10+ years living like that. even harder when people have told you things like how "strong" you are for having done so/being able to do so.

so i'm trying to rewire that part of my brain, but it's very difficult. not just bc of the mindset but bc it is distressing to have a "i used to be able to do this and now i can't" moment about anything, even if it's "function while distressingly sleep deprived" lol.

anyway, griping aside, some actual good news: Frankie's doing okay. we're still in the palliative care stage, but the prednisone is so far still working & the vet said the pica was a normal side effect of it, which is exactly what i'd assumed but always nice to have the confirmation. important thing is that she's still doing so much better than she was in March. she'll go back in two months for another check-up but a big HECK YEAH for now.
hexmix: a little ghost in a witch's hat (spirit hat)
it's almost april, heck. didn't accomplish as much as i'd hoped this month, but then when do i ever tbh.

do have a few fic updates tho! chapter 18 of 'sunshine' is now up on SW. also wrote a Jesse/Chester Evil West fic for a flashfic challenge which can be read here. i'll be posting it to SW as well once the current challenge is over.

already cursed with another Evil West fic idea too, but we'll see if i ever get around to writing it lol. been wanting to do the 100ships fanfic challenge so maybe that'll be the impetus for finally starting the challenge, who knows.

anyway, going thru lightmode's beta of 'sunshine' ch19 tonight; gonna try to post that one here once i finish. depends how late it is tbh. i just typically like to finalize the next chapter right after posting one, since i've just reread that chapter for any last-minute typo catches & to fix all the formatting issues that carry over in copy-pasting from docs.

the chapter following that one is kind of proving to be troublesome tho. lightmode was having trouble beta-ing it due to additional fic knowledge i'd given them, so probably it needs fresh eyes on it, but i also feel bad asking anyone to pinch-hit beta a chapter. :/

anyway, we'll figure something out, i guess. lowkey dreading trying to wrangle it tho lol.

oh! also really awesome news! finally made affiliate on twitch!! c: had a whole mess of ppl show up on wednesday's stream this week and ended up getting 133 followers in one night, which is insane!!! it tripled my follower count, and then twitch got back to me about affiliate the next day, which was WAY sooner than i expected.

it was such a nice thing to have happen tho. like everyone coming in hitting us with bean emojis, and then the fact that people were showing up like that at all, and that someone had clearly directed them to us, it was just such a sweet thing for someone to have organized. i was really overwhelmed at the time so it was good that V was there hahah. def a good kind of overwhelmed tho c:

also had a few ppl subscribe right after we hit affiliate too, which was also overwhelming in its own way hahah. the support has been tremendous, like even Caro and Turtles making emotes/suggestions, it all means a heck of a lot to me, more than i can say really. V's been really excited about it too, and that's also just really great to see. i'm tearing up thinking about it all again but like really, everyone's been so kind ;_;

it's been such a genuinely positive thing and i'm super grateful!!!! i've met so many awesome people since i started streaming and it's such a highlight of my week, getting to talk to them while being bad at video games hahah.

anyway, think that sums up march for me. really don't think anything else can top that tbh.

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