[fic wip] inktober 2023, RE8/wintersberg

[hexmix]

trying to motivate myself to work on something by going through and posting some wips, including this rather short inktober attempt from last year, which i had completely forgotten about. not gonna reveal what the au inspo is (pls feel to guess tho c:), but the prompt was "dream."

Ethan, it wasn’t real.

He could still hear the words, Mia’s voice rough, exasperated, practically a hiss, days later. Repeated them enough himself, just this endless refrain, any time he…forgot.

Ka–Heisenberg didn’t seem to be having any problem remembering at least. Grin sharp and mean any time Ethan gave in and traveled down to see him. He hadn’t ever looked like that in the past–in the illusion. It made it easier to tell things apart–what was real, what had really happened, and what had just been little more than a dream.

Easier was relative, though, and practically a drop in the bucket for how hard it was for Ethan to keep his distance. To bite his lip on demanding Chris let Karl–Heisenberg–out.

He never stopped thinking about it, never stopped having to strangle the sizable part of him that just wanted to reach out and…

And help him. Get him out. Touch him.

He exhaled now, a shaky sigh, realized he was pacing again and forced himself to stop. He hadn’t seen Karl yet today–hadn’t seen Heisenberg–and he wanted to go down. 

It wasn’t real, he reminded himself, but he was already telling himself what he’d told himself before, that he should still check to make sure Heisenberg wasn’t being mistreated. No matter Chris’ reassurances, whatever little lab Hound Wolf had set up reminded him too much of what he’d seen of the BSAA in Houston, and after everything Chris had neglected to tell him in the village, he could too easily imagine a hell of a lot more being kept from him.

Especially where Heisenberg was concerned.

Especially now that Chris knew about the dream, the illusion.

The door to his room closed silently behind him; his sneakers tapped near-silently along the hall. The hum of fluorescent lighting followed him.

He knew the route by memory now. Each turn, the exact number of stairs leading down. Knew which door, sometimes thought he could even feel him there. Knew that was just his imagination, but the feeling persisted. 

Ethan approached it slowly. There was no guard, not anymore, but Ethan knew Chris’ man would still be watching him on the cameras. Knew that he’d be monitored as long as he stayed here.

Even if he thought Chris would let him leave, Ethan knew he’d never be able to as long as Karl was still being kept here.

It wasn’t real, but it felt like it had been. The memories felt real. The fear he felt at knowing Karl was being held here, a prisoner, that was real too, no matter what Chris or Mia told him. No matter what he told himself.

He stared at the closed door for a moment longer before reaching for the keypad next to it, his hand shaking as he did so. Typed in the passcode and was, as he always was, a little surprised Chris hadn’t changed it.

They’re monitoring you, he reminded himself. If he did try to…If he tried anything Hound Wolf would be on him in a moment. There was only one way back up out of where Karl was being held, after all.

The door slid open with a nearly silent wheeze and click and Ethan stepped through. The lighting was dimmed inside, but the space that opened before him was framed with twin sets of panels, bright blue-white glow oozing out. A thick pane of bullet-proof glass waited for him halfway into the room, with Karl behind it.

He could barely make him out from where he stood; a hunched form waiting in shadow, undoubtedly watching his approach.

Ethan swallowed and let his feet carry him forward, exactly where he wanted to go.

Karl didn’t move as he came to a stop right in front of the glass, but his voice carried, the tone and cadence of it just as alien to Ethan as ever.

Karl didn’t sound like that.

But Heisneberg did, and the faster he remembered that, the better.

“Still can’t get enough of me, eh Winters?” he asked.

Ethan was silent for a moment, close enough now to make out Karl where he sat on his bunk. Close enough to see that he was watching him, just as Ethan had expected. 

“I just needed to make sure,” Ethan said, his voice quieter than he’d intended. He knew Karl would hear him nonetheless; Heisenberg’s hearing was much better than his own.

“How many times do you think it’s going to take?” Karl said, “For you to ‘make sure’?”

Exactly as many as it would take, Ethan thought. He hoped–He told himself that he’d get over the whole thing eventually. He’d see, even if he couldn’t convince himself, he’d see how different they were, Karl and Heisenberg, and that would be enough maybe. Eventually.

“I don’t know,” Ethan said truthfully. He thought about how he knew how to get past the glass barrier. He tried to ignore how badly he wanted to. Needed to, almost. He felt sick with it, the conflicting desires to get the hell out and to go even further inwards. Hound Wolf had Karl in a straightjacket, and it would take a few minutes to get him out of it, but Ethan knew he could figure it out. Knew he could figure out that collar too, the one they had dampening Karl’s powers, and once he got it off Karl could get them out, it would take only moments.

Ethan forced himself to take a step away from the glass. His heart was pounding. He felt light-headed; as confused as always when he came down here. 

“How can you stand it,” he asked, looking down at the floor between them rather than at Karl himself.

Karl snorted, derisive, and said, “Easily.”

It hit like a blow. Karl had never spoken to him like that.

Ethan didn’t even know what he wanted. It was good, wasn’t it? That Heisenberg was still Heisenberg; that he wasn’t acting like Karl. 

But he couldn’t stand hearing him like this, not when Karl had always–

That wasn’t real. That never happened.

“Best thing that ever happened to me was waking up,” Karl continued.

Ethan blinked. Looked back up at him. He was grinning; eyes fixed on Ethan.

But Ethan knew that tone; he was lying.