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hexmixhorrid start to this week, and that's, well. it's not something that's going to get better, just something i have to get used to, i guess. in typical fashion i am just simply Not Thinking About It bc when i do i just end up crying and that's not helping anything. :/
things have been fine otherwise. i've been hitting a lot of goals i've set for myself; getting some shit done around the house that i've been putting off, writing more, etc. a little while back i spent an evening clicking thru the Random Community button and checking different dw comms out. found a lot of writing challenges, which were always something i was big into on lj. finished a fic for a flashfic challenge for small fandoms yesterday. got my eyes on that comm specifically for Evil West reasons lmao.
gonna let the fic set for a few days before proofing it one final time and then i'll post it to the comm; can't post it anywhere else until the challenge duration is up but i'll link to it at least. pretty happy with it overall c:
aside from that, posting spirit hat outside of dw again. decided on this despite my wariness of getting hung up on an update schedule bc about a week back i wrote the final lines for 'sunshine,' so i'm feeling very good about finishing it up soon.
not that this means i've finished the last chapter; i only have a detailed outline/rough draft for it, but bc i tend to write out all the dialogue when i do those i ended up just writing the last little bit of the fic. so now i've got that, heck yeah.
my problem ends up being that i always write those bits in present tense (i don't know why i do this???) so then even if there are salvageable lines i still have to go thru and change the tense on everything lol. i delete this stuff as i go so i don't have any of it from earlier fic chapters and just have stuff that'd be spoilers, but like if you want to see what i'm talking about here's a selection for a scene from an outline/draft i wrote for a din/migs canon divergent book of boba fett au that i'll never write:
>> and mando interrupts him to tell him what the armorer said about there being a way for him to find repentance, but that he doesn’t know if he wants to, or even if he should. If it would be real repentance considering that he wouldn’t change anything that he’d done, that he’d do it again if he had to >> and it’s the most migs has ever heard out of him and he’s kind of stunned but also just like “so what does that mean for you? You’re here to give your kid some kinda mandalorian thing, so you still think of yourself as mandalorian–which is all that kriffing matters anyway, screw anyone that says different–and bo katan took off her helmet and was all “ooh sacred mandalorian sword”, so she’s clearly not thinking /she’s/ any less mandalorian” >> mando’s just like “i’m not the same kind of mandalorian that she is, that koska is. But i don’t know what i…” and he just kind of trails off, fists clenching on his thighs, looking off at the damn construction droids
>> and migs is like still mad on his behalf, and also can very much relate, so he’s just like “well whatever, you’re here to give your kid a thing, and he doesn’t care one way or the other what kind of mandalorian you are, or if you’re a mandalorian at all, he’s your kid, he loves you.”
>> and din kind of breaks down? Like a little? Like his breath hitches and then his shoulders droop and he makes a half-sob sort of noise and migs Panics, and tries to comfort him and just ends up rambling which leads to him talking about everything fett is doing, and did you know the crazy bastard put a lizard in his brain?, and he’s being mostly realistic of their chances but also talking up fett and what he’s trying to do without realizing it, and he casually brings up what they’re doing in comparison to what he did with the empire, and there’s still that self-deprecation, and mando interrupts to be like “you really believe in him” like his voice is off bc he got choked up and is trying not to cry, but he’s also kind of…unbelieving that migs sincerely believe in fett’s goal.
>> so migs bristles a bit and is just like “you’ve been there, that’s where you met fennec, you know what mos eisley’s kriffing like, what all these outer rim planets are like, too far out for the empire to have attempted to spread “order,” too far out to be used as anything except [explody material] mines or boltholes for unsavory labs, and the new republic is all just pretty words, they’re not doing anything to make things better out here either, and so what if a lizard scrambled fett’s brains, he’s serious about making things better, so why /shouldn’t/ he try?
>> and mando’s just like, “and you’re helping him,” basically just meaning to reiterate what he said about migs believing in him, but migs takes it the worst way possible like “so what? He needs help and he doesn’t care that i’m ex imperial, and whatever you think about me it wasn’t /my/ kriffing idea to betray you, i’m not about that shit, and i’m not going to turn on him or whatever you’re implying–” >> “i’m not implying anything. It says a lot about fett that he’s convinced you of the value of his cause” >> and migs get embarrassed bc he doesn’t know if mando’s fucking with him or not but if he misread him it’s kind of embarrassing so he’s just like “yeah, well” and they lapse into silence for a while before migs can’t stand it and he’s just like “so what the kriff are those things even building?” >> “a school” ashoka says, making her presence known and just about giving migs a heart attack
so that's effectively what the last chapter of 'sunshine' looks like right now lol. sometimes i'll also cut out action descriptions entirely and just do only dialogue, but that's uh. that's the writing process for me lmao. not that i do detailed outlines/drafts like this for everything; sometimes i'll start getting claustrophobic about an outline that's too tight so i have to like. fucking freeball it. i prefer to leave enough room that scenes and character interactions can develop organically when i'm writing, and a lot of that happens when i do detailed outlines/drafts like this and then it's just a matter of rewriting/expanding. but other times i'll have to ax huge chunks of things i've written bc feeling too strangled by them.
guess i should clarify that i do have like a barebones overarching outline of where i want things to go, like a 'how to get from point A to B' kind of thing, but i try not to fill that in too much until i'm actually sitting down to write xyz scene. or, you know, if i get an idea in the shower and then need to jot it down quickly before i forget. and then there are times when i'll get an idea for a scene and decide to write a wholeass fic around it. this happened with an ff8 longfic i was writing in high school and is also the reason i decided to keep going with spirit hat after 'blooms.'
anyway man, that's a ramble. but we are here at the personal blog/Yell Void, so it's fine lol.
things have been fine otherwise. i've been hitting a lot of goals i've set for myself; getting some shit done around the house that i've been putting off, writing more, etc. a little while back i spent an evening clicking thru the Random Community button and checking different dw comms out. found a lot of writing challenges, which were always something i was big into on lj. finished a fic for a flashfic challenge for small fandoms yesterday. got my eyes on that comm specifically for Evil West reasons lmao.
gonna let the fic set for a few days before proofing it one final time and then i'll post it to the comm; can't post it anywhere else until the challenge duration is up but i'll link to it at least. pretty happy with it overall c:
aside from that, posting spirit hat outside of dw again. decided on this despite my wariness of getting hung up on an update schedule bc about a week back i wrote the final lines for 'sunshine,' so i'm feeling very good about finishing it up soon.
not that this means i've finished the last chapter; i only have a detailed outline/rough draft for it, but bc i tend to write out all the dialogue when i do those i ended up just writing the last little bit of the fic. so now i've got that, heck yeah.
my problem ends up being that i always write those bits in present tense (i don't know why i do this???) so then even if there are salvageable lines i still have to go thru and change the tense on everything lol. i delete this stuff as i go so i don't have any of it from earlier fic chapters and just have stuff that'd be spoilers, but like if you want to see what i'm talking about here's a selection for a scene from an outline/draft i wrote for a din/migs canon divergent book of boba fett au that i'll never write:
>> and mando interrupts him to tell him what the armorer said about there being a way for him to find repentance, but that he doesn’t know if he wants to, or even if he should. If it would be real repentance considering that he wouldn’t change anything that he’d done, that he’d do it again if he had to >> and it’s the most migs has ever heard out of him and he’s kind of stunned but also just like “so what does that mean for you? You’re here to give your kid some kinda mandalorian thing, so you still think of yourself as mandalorian–which is all that kriffing matters anyway, screw anyone that says different–and bo katan took off her helmet and was all “ooh sacred mandalorian sword”, so she’s clearly not thinking /she’s/ any less mandalorian” >> mando’s just like “i’m not the same kind of mandalorian that she is, that koska is. But i don’t know what i…” and he just kind of trails off, fists clenching on his thighs, looking off at the damn construction droids
>> and migs is like still mad on his behalf, and also can very much relate, so he’s just like “well whatever, you’re here to give your kid a thing, and he doesn’t care one way or the other what kind of mandalorian you are, or if you’re a mandalorian at all, he’s your kid, he loves you.”
>> and din kind of breaks down? Like a little? Like his breath hitches and then his shoulders droop and he makes a half-sob sort of noise and migs Panics, and tries to comfort him and just ends up rambling which leads to him talking about everything fett is doing, and did you know the crazy bastard put a lizard in his brain?, and he’s being mostly realistic of their chances but also talking up fett and what he’s trying to do without realizing it, and he casually brings up what they’re doing in comparison to what he did with the empire, and there’s still that self-deprecation, and mando interrupts to be like “you really believe in him” like his voice is off bc he got choked up and is trying not to cry, but he’s also kind of…unbelieving that migs sincerely believe in fett’s goal.
>> so migs bristles a bit and is just like “you’ve been there, that’s where you met fennec, you know what mos eisley’s kriffing like, what all these outer rim planets are like, too far out for the empire to have attempted to spread “order,” too far out to be used as anything except [explody material] mines or boltholes for unsavory labs, and the new republic is all just pretty words, they’re not doing anything to make things better out here either, and so what if a lizard scrambled fett’s brains, he’s serious about making things better, so why /shouldn’t/ he try?
>> and mando’s just like, “and you’re helping him,” basically just meaning to reiterate what he said about migs believing in him, but migs takes it the worst way possible like “so what? He needs help and he doesn’t care that i’m ex imperial, and whatever you think about me it wasn’t /my/ kriffing idea to betray you, i’m not about that shit, and i’m not going to turn on him or whatever you’re implying–” >> “i’m not implying anything. It says a lot about fett that he’s convinced you of the value of his cause” >> and migs get embarrassed bc he doesn’t know if mando’s fucking with him or not but if he misread him it’s kind of embarrassing so he’s just like “yeah, well” and they lapse into silence for a while before migs can’t stand it and he’s just like “so what the kriff are those things even building?” >> “a school” ashoka says, making her presence known and just about giving migs a heart attack
so that's effectively what the last chapter of 'sunshine' looks like right now lol. sometimes i'll also cut out action descriptions entirely and just do only dialogue, but that's uh. that's the writing process for me lmao. not that i do detailed outlines/drafts like this for everything; sometimes i'll start getting claustrophobic about an outline that's too tight so i have to like. fucking freeball it. i prefer to leave enough room that scenes and character interactions can develop organically when i'm writing, and a lot of that happens when i do detailed outlines/drafts like this and then it's just a matter of rewriting/expanding. but other times i'll have to ax huge chunks of things i've written bc feeling too strangled by them.
guess i should clarify that i do have like a barebones overarching outline of where i want things to go, like a 'how to get from point A to B' kind of thing, but i try not to fill that in too much until i'm actually sitting down to write xyz scene. or, you know, if i get an idea in the shower and then need to jot it down quickly before i forget. and then there are times when i'll get an idea for a scene and decide to write a wholeass fic around it. this happened with an ff8 longfic i was writing in high school and is also the reason i decided to keep going with spirit hat after 'blooms.'
anyway man, that's a ramble. but we are here at the personal blog/Yell Void, so it's fine lol.
